potty mouth

I swear. I swear a LOT. Apparently nice young ladies don't cuss. Of course, I haven't really ever been a nice young lady. Which isn't to say that I have a tattoo that reads "Gangsta" or any other tattoo, for that matter. But I was never in Junior League or even good at doing my hair up real nice, so "nice young lady" seems like a stretch.

But I do cuss a lot, and someone who I generally don't turn to for self-improvement feedback has commented on it so many times that I'm becoming aware of it. Also, children keep being near me, so everyone feels I'm tainting their minds. I'm not sure the F word is really the secret to tainting the mind of a child these days (surely the dancing they see in music videos, and indeed, learn in kiddie dance classes, more than implies the meaning of the F word). But, apparently swearing like a sailor is just not de rigeur around these impressionable young ones.

So, I'm going to stop. I'll say Crikey and Frickity Frack and Fudge and For the Love of Pete or Cheese or Poptarts. Because somehow saying "Oh, for the love of all things cheesy" is somewhat less offensive than "What the F?" Resolved. I will no longer say F- that F'er. Done.

But that makes me think - why do we care so much? Clearly FRICKITY FRACK!!! is an equal expression of outright anger. So, it isn't a show of emotion that we care about. In fact, it seems that idle swearing without emotion is really the bigger problem. Slipping in a "I had no idea what the F that kid was doing" is the insipid type of swearing we should avoid, apparently. Instead, I should say "I had no idea what in tarnation that kid was doing." I can do that, but what's the point? 

I'm sure when I hear my wee babe say "Mommy, what the crap?" I'll be pretty cut up about it all. As an adult, I am utterly indifferent unless people get very graphic. I don't think about the meaning, I just say the word, so if someone starts using the word in a literal, crude sense, it bothers me.  

Social norms are there for a reason. So, I'll try to comply. But, can someone explain me why?

intl cheesy movie serial post #1

the first scene shows a youngish looking actor in his mid-20s who is supposed to be a student.  he is wearing an all jean ensemble; jean jacket with the sleeves ripped out, a bandana tied around his neck, no shirt, no chest hair and acid wash jeans.  his ethnicity and country location are irrelevant.  

our hero, we will call him Don/Dahn/Thon, is standing and talking in a very animated way with his two best friends in front of a street food stall.  his two friends are shorter than him, but it also appears that Don/Dahn/Thon may be wearing lifts in his shoes.  also he has a buffant hairdo.  

Don and his boufant and friends are acting a little silly and they soon start playing with the noodles they are eating, throwing them at each other.   then the lady selling noodles, who is wearing a hair net, starts gesturing to them wildly to stop playing with her food and raising her spatula to slap them.  i guess she's pissed at them.  but we all know they are lovable rogues.

and now with that scene established, i will ask you, what happens next:

a) they break into song/dance after a hot girl walks by

b) they get into a noodle fight with a rival posse who walks by

c) Don starts a long dream sequence about becoming rich one day

d) Don's mother calls on his cell phone 

e) other or some combination of the above

international cheesy movie serial - introduction

dear readers,

in honor of various national film industries and the deliciously cheesy movies they put out, i will be writing a mini-script serial this summer.  all you have to do is follow along and suggest what comes next.  think about your favorite medieval samurai warrior tv serials, betty la fea, spiteful korean love triangles, eurovision song plots, improbable poor mumbai boy meets rich princess, well, you get the idea.  it will be fun.

priya

Marketing: A Lesson of Faith

Marketing is a funny thing. We love to hate it. Marketing seeks to sell product and drive behavior by reshaping the consumer's perception of needs and wants. If I can convince you that you want something, then I have a chance of selling it to you. If I was already looking for a solution to my ever-frustrating garlic pealing conundrum, then your Robo-Magic Garlic Peeler would be heaven-sent, and then all the marketing had to do was inform me of its existence and steer me to a retail outlet. 

But, thing get more insipid when I didn't already lament my pain of garlic extraction. What if I was perfectly happy with my peeling solutions? Then the marketer has to convince me that they are sub-par and are causing me pain. Stinky fingers? Risk of impaling yourself on that chef's knife? Gosh, I hadn't thought of that... maybe I should get a Robo-Magic! 

Worse, what if I don't eat garlic? Then the marketer has to convince me that I would eat that healthy stuff if only peeling weren't an obstacle. Tired of italian food without the pizazz? Garlic is missing - but you fear it, you poor dear. Here.. have a RoboMagic! Lower your cholesterol with more flavor!

I was reading my friend Rutherford's blog entry today, and commented that religious organizations can teach us a whole heck of a lot about marketing. Most people don't fret over their eternal salvation at a young age, but at some point, it becomes ingrained, either due to a youthful spiritual education or some live-changing event in which they confront their own mortality. The decision to subscribe to a faith occurs at some point, but truly, this is an ongoing decision that occurs with every sunday of football missed for church, or every bite of pepperoni pizza given up in the name of kosher laws. A religious organization is asking its congregents to make ongoing "purchase decisions" in compliance with the teachings of the faith. 

Setting aside the truth or falsehood of major and minor religions, this is a huge marketing problem - and one that, to a greater or lesser degree, has been mastered by all major faiths through thousands of years of experience. We have a lot to learn from these folks. 

With precious little in the way of Sham-Wow demonstrations of product effectiveness (though, some rather compelling demos are used in some groups), purchase decisions are made every day. How?  

• Buzz. The hype-o-meter in religious circles is always high, since the community talks about - well - itself, the latest sermon, the upcoming holiday, etc. The people maintain the hype for the church/organization. It is as though the company's brand was included in 10% of all tweets. Fantastic. 
• Viral Marketing. Evangelism and missionary work deploy unpaid folks to sell product for the organization. Teams of these people, who are the religious equivalents of GreenPeace activists, are deployed, often informally on college campuses and formally in third world countries to spread the word. 
• Low Early Commitment. Everyone knows you can't sell a product that requires the user to make a huge early commitment. Best to try before you buy. One sermon. One Shabbat dinner. We'll even feed you. There's cake. Just try one... 
• Embrace and Extend. Microsoft knows that the best way to .. er.. gain traction in a new market is to embrace what already exists and extend it in a way that benefits the company itself. So, Jews for Jesus - everything you love about being jewish - with a twist! Don't go koshering up your entire kitchen.. but maybe give up pork? Little steps that feel comfortable and familiar. 
• Frequent Follow Up. The LDS church is a master of this (Shout out, Mormons!). Every week you get a visit from another church member. It's organized. It's free. It makes sure you stay in the fold (and are doing well, and aren't dead in a house full of cats, and aren't starving, or suicidal or anything). Every sales guy knows you have to maintain customer relationships, not just drop in once a year to do a Christmas upgrade. Hey, while I'm here, maybe you can come to church on sunday? there's going to be cake! 
• Habit Forming. The real kicker in any marketing plan is to become habit forming. Not really in a tobacco kind of way - more like, in a post-it note way. If I took away your post-its, how peeved would you be? So, I can't imagine a wedding without a huppah. You can't imagine Christmas without midnight mass. Over enough time, it just becomes "the way things are." 

It may seem.. skewed.. to look at religion as a template for ideal marketing. But then think - what would it take to make your collateral relevant in 200 years?

The Anti-Feminist

When I was only 17 years old, I shipped off to bonnie england in a study abroad program. Not London, mind you, since that would have been the cosmopolitan thing to do. No, not I. I went to the North. No, no, not Oxford. Further north. Lancaster, England . You can spit over the Scottish border from there. 

Lancashire has a very different accent, different cheeses, and distinctly colder weather than London. In fact, all of northern england may as well be another country, in the same way that Massachusetts is not really anything like California. I love the north of England, and one of the things I remember most clearly about my first 12 hours in England was the porters. Porters were the "dorm staff" equivalents for Lancaster University. They were all aging men who were meant to get you your key, your room assignment, and had a luggage cart to help haul your bags. Rather than being greeted by some over-enthusiastic upperclassman donning plaid shorts in school colors with a spirit ribbon in her bouncy ponytail, we had these men in black uniforms with hats. They were fantastic. 

And they called us "Love." Old men, and many younger men, in the region call all women "Love." Watch Coronation Street, it happens all the time. Hello, Love! Need a lift, love? Can I help, love?  It was strangely awesome. Meaninglessly familiar, strangely affectionate, and entirely welcoming. I know it is just a speech pattern, but to this day, I really enjoy it. 

I recalled this today when the workmen came to the office to fix something in the ceiling, and I heard them saying "When we're done, I'll go tell the girl...."   The girl in question is one of my friends,and at our age, we're not really.. technically.. girls. But, there was something in the speech pattern I found really endearing - and reminded me of England.

I know I'm meant to be a feminist and shun being called Love or Girl, but let me tell you.. I love being a girl. 

ThongCharm PSA: Bone Marrow Drives

All,

Good friend of thongcharm, Lynne Haupt, is working tirelessly these days to find a bone marrow match for her brother, Jonathan Haupt. 

Bone marrow donation is a fairly misunderstood procedure, more akin to platelet donation than to organ donation. Matches are typically 1:30,000, and the entire worldwide database is only 30 million people right now. Among these people, Jonathan has not found a match. Ethnic minorities are severely underrepresented in this database, including jewish people, so it is particularly important to beef up the database for folks in those demographics.

To help increase awareness and collect samples for the database, Lynne has organized a formidable number of Bone Marrow events. We're happy to do our part to help, and thus are promoting her cause here.

The drives are listed below. If you cannot make it, consider ordering a kit online at:  http://www.dkmsamericas.org/marrow-donor-form. And you can follow progress at www.TeamHaupt.org and through the Team Haupt Facebook group.

Get out there and get swabbed. It can save a life.

--Lilac

Drives in Honor of Jonathan

Northern Virginia:

Saturday, July 11th from 10AM to 6PM
Reston Town Center – During the Reston Festival
11900 Market Street
Reston, VA 20190 

 

Sunday, July 12th from 10AM to 4PM
Northern Virginia Hebrew Congregation (NVHC)
1441 Wiehle Avenue
Reston, VA 20190 

 

Worcester, MA:

Sunday, July 12 from 11AM to 3PM
Worcester JCC
633 Salisbury St.
Worcester, MA 01609

 

Natick, MA:
Saturday, July 18 from 11AM to 3PM
Belkin Lookout Farm
89 Pleasant St. South
South Natick, MA 01760

 

Boston, MA:
Sunday, July 19th from 10am to 4pm
Holiday Inn Brookline
1200 Beacon St.
Brookline, MA 02446

Maryland:
Sunday, July 19th
Baltimore – Location TBD

 

NYC:
Thursday, July 16
NYC JCC - TBD

 

Albany:
Sunday, July 12th from 10AM to 2PM
Temple Israel Social Hall
600 New Scotland Ave.
Albany, NY 12208

 

St. Louis:
Sunday, July 19th from 10AM to 2PM
Bais Abraham Synagogue
6910 Delmar Blvd.
University City, MO 63130

Pins and Needles

Today is a nervous day. It may be, to no small part, hormonal. Or it's stress. Or it is some combination of factors that makes me feel like everything that happens is an imposition on my tenuous hold on peace. I want to shut out the world and make the earth speak to me only when it/he/she is spoken to. Naturally, that's not an option. 

There are so many reasons why today is a bad day, already... but none which are appropriate for blogging. But I'm curious how best to alleviate this stress. Ordinarily, it would be time for a nice long workout, involving potentially a run, which always makes me feel like progress is occurring, even if I just run up the hill and back. That's not a bad plan, but it cannot be executed for at least 6 hours. And I suspect it will take the form of a gym workout instead. With about 100 errands around it.. so hardly a day at the spa. 

In the mean time, with my lengthy to do list.. what can be done to relieve the stress? Thoughts?