Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Worlds Collide: Internets, Entitlement, and Indian Personality Disorder

I just got off the most alarming phone call. I get a lot of alarming phone calls since my extension is tied to my company's web site. This one went something like this*:

HiMyNameIsArchanaGuptaFromLohaniCompanyWhereIAmAnInternAndAlsoDoingMyMBARightNow.AsPartOfMyJobIAmDoingASurveyOfSoftwareCompanies. YouWillAnswerTheseQuestions. ItWillOnlyTakeAFewMinutes.

My first thought is: Huh???

My next question is: Who are you? Where are you from?

The response was ... strikingly familiar:

HiMyNameIsArchanaGuptaFromLohaniCompanyWhereIAmAnInternAndAlsoDoingMyMBARightNow.AsPartOfMyJobIAmDoingASurveyOfSoftwareCompanies. YouWillAnswerTheseQuestions. ItWillOnlyTakeAFewMinutes.

Um. Alright. Naturally, I demured. I am not allowed to answer questions to idiots who randomly call me. 

But then I got to thinking - this girl summarized a fair chunk of our blogging in one fell 10-second swoop. There was the obvious, very currently fascinating Entitlement Problem, with rather ballsy leveraging of the Presumptive Close . And this was all wrapped up in a serious case of Indian Personality Disorder , which still ranks among our most popular blog posts. She was the holy trifecta. I had to know more.

Luckily, she sent me an email with the same request, so I googled her. Thank you, Internets. And lo and behold, she has a linkedin page, and indeed, she does work for Lohani Corporation, where she is an intern, while she pursues her MBA at an indian university. At least she wasn't lying. 

But, in the manner of all clever 22 year olds (based on graduation dates), she linked her pride and joy - her BLOG - to her LinkedIn account. Naturally, I clicked on through, fascinated. I'll republish some excerpts, dated from yesterday, without providing a link, since that would be inappropriate:

For past 4 months, I can see that I allow people to influence me very easily... It is my habit of believing people easily which somehow at a sub-conscious level takes my mind and heart both in confidence simultaneously and makes them to behave in the same fashion.... Now, I am living in a phase where I am behaving totally opposite to my own self. So opposite, that even I'm surprised at myself... I have witnessed this change and now my own soul which I have locked myself deep inside me is terribly trying to come out.  **

Crap. Now I feel bad for the kid. Angst is so darned perilous and sympathetic. We were all 21 once. Eons ago. 

This raised another question... what are the odds that this poor stricken soul who called from a world far far away to garner answers to inane questions was actually not being herself? Maybe she's been maligned by the forces of maturity, and her real soul is crying out to say "Hi there friendly person. Will you help me by answering a few questions today? Please?" 

Is "A young adult hormonal rage combined with a diet of top ramen and coke*** has so ravaged my ability to act like a normal human being" a valid defense?

*Names have been changed to protect the guilty.
**Please don't google her. Please. The blog is rather alarming in all ways, including but not limited to content, font, color, grammar and punctuation.
***Or the indian equivalent

1 comment:

Priya said...

oh dear. what you have here is a clear case of the confliction driving so much of indian personality disorder. this chick's ghandi-loving women are demure and non-aggressive upbringing is colliding with her real desire: to robodial random software company employees in the US for MBA research. i see the blog post as a desperate plea to convince herself that she's actually the demure ghandi-lover while in fact she's turned into a western telemarketing stooge.