Saturday, May 15, 2010

random comments at 1:40 am on a friday night

* i nearly cried watching the reno 911 episode about training cops from bhagdad. there was one sketch in particular where an exceedingly normal white couple come in with a missing child to report. they are giving the description of the child to 2 black deputees (jones and raineesha). as they are describing the missing girl, who goes by the name of beyonce shabaaz wayans, they explain she was supposed to be in a pageant today. raineesha goes "the only pageant i'm aware of is little miss nubian". yes, that's also the same pageant the white child is going to. the deputees look at the couple in disgust as they explain they have put fake darkener on their child to make her "black". brilliant.

* i am attempting to give up cheese by remembering all the reasons it sucks. unfortunately none of these things makes me want it less.
1. it's horrendously fattening.
2. it's like a gateway drug to bad eating. it's the marijuana of the food world.
3. it has an addictive protein in it called casein that produces an opiate like effect
4. it's in every food such as cheetos, and drenched on every restaurant meal (chilis) made by anyone trying to market and sell food. that alone makes it suspect.
6. it was originally created as a way to preserve milk for long periods of time during the winter
7. it smells rather disgusting. have you been to a french bistro lately? ick.

* no one in brooklyn appears to wash their hair, wear color or pluck their eyebrows. we are all a bunch of androgynous hipsters with messy hair and mono chrommatic clothing with mono brows. the only people livening up the neighborhood by looking clean and well dressed are the fine patrons of ny perks.

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