Friday, June 25, 2010

The New Mark of Royalty

In centuries past, royals had certain items that the common folk couldn't have. Purple dye. Gold. Marriage annulments. And lower levels of folk - like knights - got weapons, armor, badges and general dubbing. Often, though, the most valuable things were not necessarily gated by cost and price, but rather by access. Anyone can make a fortune and buy high end goods. Not everyone can have access to certain elite items and experiences.

That's why we are fascinated by the access of fame. Access to certain restaurants and shows. Access to fashion week. Access to the right Oscar parties. We're more intrigued by things we cannot get - even if we do win the lotto.

The corporate equivalent of being dubbed a knight is becoming an executive. I used to have a director title - it was fun. And what was the number one most visible, life-changing aspect of executive status? What is the one, big, purple velvet item in the corporate world?  The speakerphone.

The speakerphone elevates you from being a proletariat to being a patrician. The speakerphone implies closed space in an office. The speakerphone frees you from the handset and the associated neck pain. The speakerphone allows you to sit back, relax, and take your call.

Hacks do exist. I have a headset. It bites. I have to constantly adjust it. It almost serves to remind me that I do not have a speakerphone. The headset is the 3rd tier Oscar party. Those 3 paparazzi remind you that you aren't being covered by TMZ.

Though, I don't think there will be a "Cribs: Corporate Offices" anytime soon....


PD said...

i used to think the speakerphone was a great thing. until i realized that it kept me chained to my desk for long periods of time.

a good bluetooth headset with the MUTE function is wayyyy more the mark of the new royalty. royalty is when you can call someone on a crappy bluetooth connection and the other person has to sit there and put up with the crappy connection.

Lilac - Like The Flower said...

er. as the girl who created the PSA on the mute button on a bluetooth headset.... them is some rich words!

i want a cone of silence.