Thursday, October 20, 2011


There's a lot of stupid work out there. And sometimes there's important work out there. But, if you're getting paid, presumably you're being paid to do something. Now, I'm the first fan of automation -- but not everything can be automated. And so, we have you, Ms. Employee or Mr. Employee - and your job is to infuse your position with a mild amount of thought. Not a lot. Just enough.

For example:
  • If your job is to post the new YouTube video on the glory of gouda (Gouda! Now Gouder!) on the day of the product launch, then, you should, in fact, post the video.I should not have to schedule a meeting to remind you to post the video.
  • If your job is to send out samples of the new shelf-stable astronaut cheese to the CheesyFan club (AstroCheez!) - then, you should, in fact, put stamps on the envelopes. And take them to the post office.
  • If your job is to write up plans for the new diet cheese options (Option 1: more holes, less calories.  Option 2: thinner slices) -- you can't send out 3 slides that say "Remove holes" and "Get knife".  You think through the benefits and costs of each (we sell by weight, losing money with more holes. Holes are expensive. Thin cheese is transparent).
  • If you fuck up your job - or don't want to do your job - you can't just pretend it didn't happen. You can't fill the cabinet with AstroCheez and tape it shut. You can't post the video on YouTube and ignore the late timestamp. That's the professional equivalent of fucking up the fuck up -- it's fuck-up squared.
Do your job. If you don't understand your job, raise a flag. If you screw something up, own it. If you're too busy, explain it. If you're delegating to a peer, ask. If you're a professional, realize that your half-assed attitude has ramifications. And, whoever eats your poor performance - and someone is - resents it.

And, don't expect those same people to give you the benefit of the doubt next time.


PD said...

Isn't this just the demotivated clipboard archetype?

Capt. BS said...

I'm amazed that serial fuckups continue to be employed. If the unemployment rate is still 9.1%, surely there's a non-fuckup out there that can do the same job? Or maybe a Python script?