Thursday, October 13, 2011

One Ball

Part of the show in popcorn season is the annual games of strength. Not unlike a greek olympiad or a strongman competition, all the contenders have to take the field and prove their mettle in the ring. Much grunting is involved - and more than a little posturing. And, as anyone who has even seen advertising for a prize fight can attest, half the game is a psychological preamble to the actual fight.

Now, I'm a girl, so these weird male shows of strength are a bit foreign to me, innately. I've watched them for years, but it is neither my desire nor my intent to engage. Girls fight a different battle. Probably dirtier, probably longer, probably meaner - and probably less of a spectator sport. We watch. We wait. Someone once gave me the secret to driving someone to insanity - and I've yet to execute it, but I relish it as an option. That's a woman's game.

So, there's a lot of grunting and a lot of trash talk going around. But, at high noon, it will be time for the fight. Some will admit they haven't got the stones, and join me in the spectator ranks, nursing their wounds with copious beer and popcorn. Others will stand in the ring and welcome any competition, throwing their weight around and spitting. And then, there's the one-ball approach.

One ball is the guy who stands in the line to fight the man, but freely allows others to cut in front. He's the one who's in the bathroom when his number's up. He's the one who can't admit he's not going to fight - but is too scared to enter the ring. The one-ball strategy is a posture, hoping that the dinner bill will ring before he's forced to either get brutally beaten or admit his weakness. One-ball is not a leader.

Oddly, either other strategy works just fine. People respect those who pick their battles - and those who play to win. No one follows One-ball. One-ball always loses.

Now, as the chick in this arena, let me tell you how I intend to play it.  First, maintain an air of indifference by always traveling with popcorn. Second, show precious little allegiance to any outcome or champion. And, if I'm looking for a little fun, spend some time describing the ideal champion - give the people something to aspire to.


1 comment:

Rob S. said...

Yowch--sounds like you're taking your popcorn with a heavy dose of Bruckheimer. Hang in there (as long as what you're hanging on isn't a one-ball, I guess).